A Gracious Sunday

Life is hard but kindness helps.

photo via fotocommunity.fr

Have you heard of the saying, “Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” This is attributed to several thinkers from great, classic minds Philo, Socarates, and Plato to modern-day Ian Maclaren.

“Good morning Alice!,” I chirped.

Alice is a 74-year-old lady who I see almost daily whenever I walk my dog around the residential complex. Navigating the labyrinth of man-made bushes and garden trails around the community pool, I see Alice strolling, bending to pick up fragrant kalachuchi that fell from the trees overnight. I admired how she was taking charge of her mobility, as her morning routine was an exercise ritual to keep her body strong and healthy. “I offer these fragrant flowers to the Blessed Mother,” she tells me when we did some small talk. That is how I knew her name.

But this morning, her reply to my morning greeting was, “My daughter died. And I still cannot move on from it.”

I was perplexed but realized soon after that she was in a vulnerable state. I clutched my dog’s leash and went toward her. I don’t think she remembers my name at all but she remembers my face and the dog, probably.

I watched her utter broken sentences of her heartache,”..it was cancer…three years ago…at the height of her career…she left me prepared…but I cannot move on still…” I listened calmly. Her body was softly shaking and her eyes were full of anguish.

“And my husband now has cancer too.” She blurted out.

I stepped in closer, put my hand on her back, and looked at her, still listening. Fighting back tears, she relayed bits and pieces of how it was difficult for the family, financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Like a child, she said, “I sacrificed a lot, we are a good family, never losing faith and hope.” I sensed a bit of questioning in her voice but I saw her fight to choose faith and hope once more.

My words of comfort were limited but I tried to give all of my presence at that moment. And then suddenly, she said, “I have to go. I have to get dressed for Church. Thank you.”

I gave her back a gentle touch and mumbled to take care and that she would be especially in my prayers today.

The dog and I continued our sniff walk. I thought to myself, “What do you say to someone who pours her heart out like that?” Maybe she didn’t need any reassurance or some genius solution. I am grateful that in my presence, she felt safe to bare her soul. I hope I listened enough and shared my presence to make her feel better. Perhaps, she needed to air her sentiments somewhere outside of her household. Sometimes, we need that. Maybe the next time I see her, I can invite her to just sit and be, with some coffee.

We go about our lives, immersed in our troubles, thinking we are isolated cases. Sometimes, we are too ignorant to think that other people have their own carcass to deal with too.

This morning, I experienced this firsthand, that beneath our smiling exteriors are silent struggles. No struggle is too small or too big to merit a dose of kindness and if by chance, you are called upon to be a source of hope and kindness, it is a good life after all.

Meanwhile, I eat my kale and gulp a chia-infused drink as I get home.