📝 A Stepmom Story: What Went on in my Wedding 20 Years Ago

Were the stepchildren invited?

A post by a stepmom on Instagram asked, “Were your stepchildren invited to your wedding?” The responses were varied. Most said kids were not in the wedding because the biomom did not allow the children to be present. A few said the whole family was present and involved. It was refreshing to hear one stepmom recall how after the ceremony, their new family made a ritual of filling in one big glass bottle with colored sands. “It was a symbol of desired harmony that now holds a sacred space in our home,” she said.

In my case, it was agreed by my husband’s family to let the children stay home during the ceremony. As they were tenderly aged, the family was uncertain about how witnessing the whole wedding would affect the kids. I did not hold a voice on the matter during that time. I was preoccupied with the wedding preparations. Then, preparations seemed more important than to bother with the presence of my would-be stepchildren. (Hey, I was young!)

But then, for some reason, my husband’s youngest daughter was able to sneak into the ceremony because like. most three-year-old kids, her talents rotated from adorable existence to tantrum-throwing. Her guardian during that time just had to bring her to the wedding.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I did not notice her presence until almost the end of the ceremony where mandatory pictures were taken at the altar. Each group of guests took turns to wish us well and smile for the camera. I saw my stepdaughter running around the altar screaming, “Daddy! Daddy!” It was my first moment as an official stepmom. Of course, not all of the guests know our story. One of my guests asked, “Look at that kid running, who’s that Daddy she is calling for?” I saw my mom and my in-laws smile awkwardly, not knowing how to answer the question. I just laughed because I found it heartwarmingly funny. My husband was just smiling. That early, I knew there was no need to explain anything.

It was my first dose of reality that the path to stepmothering his children wouldn’t be an easy one.

Years after the wedding, my stepchildren and I would look at our wedding album. My first stepdaughter would now scold me, “Why wasn’t I at your wedding!?” But the youngest one, who for God-knows-what reason managed to be present at our wedding at three years old would now proudly declare, “See?? I was the only one invited to Dad’s wedding!” as she points to her photos in the wedding album.

And I just still laugh as it certainly is a heartwarming wedding memory.