Meeting Mandy
When a child meets a step sibling for the first time on their own, the adults panic.
”I am so lucky to travel. I’ll make sure to make the most out of it. Can I see Mandy?”
Mandy is his long-lost step-sibling who is quite estranged from my husband, the father. No one in our immediate family has ever met Mandy. You see, my husband had two families before ours. Therefore, there are two sets of step-siblings. All of us knew Mandy existed but there never was a connection due to the complicated nature of blended families.
So my son was set to travel to the East Coast and Mandy happens to be nearby. He kept on mentioning he must see Mandy. His Dad and I told him it was okay but were puzzled how he cooked up the idea of seeing his never-been-seen-before step sibling.
As a stepmother, I know of the potential awkwardness, the weirdness of it all when one meets stepchildren for the very first time. I look at my son and wonder if he was merely innocent or naive. I also wondered if Mandy’s mother will allow her to meet my son especially since a civil relationship and speaking terms are not part of current realities.
All the kids are now young adults and we have watched them reach out to each other. We witnessed how they took it upon themselves to visit their mother. Now, my son is taking it upon himself to connect to the only step-sibling he has not met. I did not ask for any reason and trusted his desire.
I wondered hard if it is ever going to happen.
After a week that he left us, he called via FaceTime. His Dad and I picked up the call His dad was aghast that he was with Mandy! “Dad, here’s Mandy!” My husband did not know what to say to his daughter that he lost connection with for the past 18 years. I was laughing at my husband’s discomfort as I watched my son and Mandy just casually hugging and walking around the US airport where they met.
I just saw childlike joy in their faces. My son texted me, “It’s so fun to be with Mandy!” That was all he said. That was enough for me. Let them bond. Let them be.
“Share Dad’s love to Mandy!,” I messaged back.
Wow. My heart rate picked up on this one. It’s wonderful when the next generation is able to say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” to the ruptures of the previous generation.