The Holiday Visit

When the Children Visited their Mom

It was days before Christmas. My eldest daughter asked me, “When do you think we could visit my Mom?” I responded, “Talk to your siblings. I think your Kuya can take the lead. (In our language, Kuya means oldest brother.)

The children are now young adults. Gone were the days when we could rein them in and give directions as to how their mother-child dynamics should be. With their biological mother longing for their presence, she has also learned to respect their growth and independence. Each of them hold their own thought of how their relationship with their mom should be.

On the 24th of December, I heard that their Kuya was asking when would they want to visit their mom. It was all set on the 26th, the day after Christmas.

On December 26, my husband and I watched them organize themselves. Kuya picked them up and with a basket of fruits, they were on their way to their mom. My husband put his arm around me. We just looked at each other and said, “It feels good to watch them take it upon themselves to visit their mom.”

I looked at them and wondered how we ever got to this day. The best feeling of all for me as a stepmother was that, it was more than okay for me that they visit their mom. It felt good, it felt right. I no longer asked, “What if they forgot all about me after they go back to their mom?”

When they came back, their chatter was filled with stories of their childhood that were unknown to them. I gathered that their other household prepared a whole banquet to celebrate their homecoming. And the whole family lot was there. Aunts and uncles. Nieces and nephews. And their pretty grandmother. They even brought home photos of their childhood. In a way, it was as if they were completing their whole being by going back to the womb.

And I am just happy for them.