I belong to a religious denomination that significantly observes the season of lent. Throughout the years, I have grown to practice fasting, confession, prayer time and other traditions that come with it. I have come to terms with the lessons that come with in as I moved into adulthood.
Now I see these lessons tremendously meaningful in my step parenting life.
Lent is all about sacrifice.
Lent mandates some sort of sacrifices for those who practice it. What are you willing to give up? That Starbucks daily fix? Or meat?
The life of a stepmother requires sacrifice. A lot. For mere illustration, the stepmom territory comes with the sacrifice of choosing to love human beings everyday without any promise of being loved back. It is assuming responsibilities to take care of children without any legal rights. It is making choices everyday that considers how it will affect all children, not just your own child.
It is hard.
Lent is about confession.
One of the Lenten activities is confession where one goes to his spiritual mentor to admit to his faults, ask for forgiveness and seek ways for reparation.
As a stepmother, I found it helpful to confess. To admit to some uncomfortable feelings. To accept that I cannot understand everything all at once. To acknowledge that I cannot do it all. To remember that I am not the mother. I confess how I feel and share my confusion. To a trusted friend and to my husband at times. Like Lent’s confession, this helps ease the burden and manage the load. It makes me start anew and try again.
It is meaningful.
Lent is about believing in Easter and the power of resurrection.
Easter Sunday brings memories of happy bunnies and colorful eggs hunted by giddy children. More than this, it is about Christ’s resurrection. To understand the power of resurrection, one must first believe. Faith is a prerequisite to hope.
A stepmom believes that she can be what the family needs when she enters the blended family. She comes in with the hope that things can work out with the choice to be with the man she loves while accepting her stepchildren. There are days when faith crumbles and hope is blurry but she carries on and foremost believes that everything will be alright.
It is worth it.
While Lent reminds that there is no greater sacrifice than the story of Christ, I am humbled. I am humbled by every that that comes with the celebration of Lent. It reminds me that I am not alone in love and sacrifice.