I got a pandemic dog for the household in 2020. Like most aspects in the home though, taking care of our pet Jaga fell into my lap. Jaga became the youngest “child” in many ways. I fed him, bathe him, put him to sleep, brought him for routine vaccines and check up, organized his travel papers. Pushing it further, he goes with me everywhere —- to the laundry room, to the office, to visits to my mother, to the grocery at times.
Walking him day in, day out was the most regular thing between us. As the walks gave him opportunity to relieve himself, smell the flowers and “say hi” to his friends and neighbors, these sniff-walks as I call it became my form of a “walkout” too.
Stepmothering life is stressful. Even when all is well, the dynamics are still complicated. More often, the stressful times that get to me on a personal level come in the form of conflict with the stepdaughter as a young adult, taking personal offense at uncalled-for comments, resistance of the children to do their chores, insistence of the kids to do things their way in the household, unanticipated schedule changes that disrupt my own schedule. These are petty things that need no abrupt confrontation as they are normal undercurrents especially in a blended household. Still, these moments create emotional build-up that can burst if left unhandled.
Enter Jaga. “Let’s go for a walk, kid!” He does his happy prance as I get his leash. I look at his excitedly loving eyes and my stress level is reduced to fifty percent. We walk out abruptly, out the door, into the village streets, through the trees, by the pond, underneath the blue skies. Following his pace, I let him control me. With his leash on, he thinks that I control him. I look at him as he takes to time to sniff the ground. I let him pull me in directions he wants while he follows the scent. I stop when he stops to sniff a friend and play. I sit when he sits to rest. I rest easily and pet him. And when he finishes circles and circles of his walk, he commands me to walk back home. I am ready to go home too. Emotions unloaded, a lighter heart later, I feel better to start anew.
And that’s how I stage my personal walkout.